oscar valdes

The Miracle and Tragedy of Ukraine

They keep doing it, day after day. Defending their land, their right to choose their destiny.
It puts Russians and their supporters to shame. How dare you wish to oppress a land that’s been independent from Russia since 1991.
In their fierceness, Ukrainians remind us all not to give up. To keep trying to achieve whatever it is that we desire.
As they defy death for the sake of their freedom, they remind us to not surrender our dreams. To not give in to mediocrity but to strive relentlessly for the best we can do.
Haven’t accomplished what you want in life?
Look to Ukraine and keep trying, so long as there is breath in you.
Ukrainians have made a deal with destiny. We will get there. No matter what. ‘Death will not stop us,’ they cry out loudly and boldly.
And the world is richer for it.
Day after day the monster that Putin is – with the consent of hypnotized Russians – keeps trying to extinguish the rising Ukrainian star, and day after day the Ukrainian star shines brighter.
Shame and shame again, on all those defenders of Putin, who meekly say ‘Oh, well, Putin was feeling uncomfortable with NATO being so close to him. He needed a little distance. He needed to kill tens of thousands of Ukrainians so he could sleep better.’
Shame and shame again on China’s dictatorship, repellent oppressors of their own people, for their support of Putin.
Shame and shame again on all the countries who don’t want to take a position.
‘Oh, we just want to be neutral.’
In the face of Putin’s daily firing of missiles into Ukraine – his ceaseless massacres – where is it that people go in their soul to hide from that reality?
Where is the fire in Russians’ bellies?
What has happened to the proud and courageous Russians who turned back Hitler?
Did their descendants not inherit the will to rise up against the mockery of a man that Putin is?
In their silence Russians are writing history and a sad chapter it is.
What does a parent tell his child when he/she puts them to bed in their Moscow home and the child asks, ‘Why are we killing Ukrainians?’
‘We… well… Ukrainians are not doing what Putin wants.’
‘If we don’t do what he wants, he kills us?’
‘No… it’s different for us…’
‘How?’
‘We… we’ve learned to keep quiet.’
‘But that’s not what you tell me to do when another child bullies me at school,’ says the child.
‘I know… but Putin is different… he’s…’
‘A really big bully?’
‘More than that.’
‘Like what?’
‘We… all of us Russians… except for some very courageous people willing to complain… we let him become what he is now.’
‘I don’t like that,’ says the child.
‘I don’t either.’
‘Will you do something about it?’
‘I promise I will think about it… come up with something. I promise. Now go to sleep. You have to get up early for school.’
‘Do children in Ukraine get to go to school?’ asks the child.
‘I’m not sure. I think that with the war… in some parts of the country… they have to stay at home.’
‘So the bombs won’t kill them?”
‘Yes. So the bombs won’t kill them.’
‘Can you sing me something happy?’
‘Of course.’
And the parent does.
How many Ukrainian children won’t ever hear their parents sing them a song?

Day of Thanks AND Forgiving

Thank you to those we know and don’t know.
To those who keep the lights on, the trains and trucks running, our homes and water heated,
Those who work in places that never close or to which we can go or call in an emergency.
To those who keep our streets safe, our computers running, those who grow and stock our food, those who invent and create to keep expanding our world.
To those who dare imagine new remedies to restore our health.
To those who fight to preserve our freedoms.
AND
Today is also a day to forgive ourselves for our failings and forgive others for theirs.
Try as we do we may come up short, and yet we must pull ourselves up and try again, remembering that defeat and loss should not keep us down for long.
There is just this one life.
When we feel alone and self pity knocks at our door, we say hello and goodbye.
When we do not get what we want in one field or endeavor, we try another. And another.
If our love is not returned we smile back and keep searching.
To pain unrelieved we look it in the eye and say, ‘I will get past you, you will not defeat me.’
To whose who wish to harm or kill us we say, ‘Why do you want to give me your pain?
Why are you running from your humanity?’
We will keep quarrelling and fighting, it’s part of who we are, but can we lessen the harm we do to each other? Can we soften the injuries we inflict?
Why do we forget that our victims are our brothers and sisters?
Should we not remind ourselves every morning when we step out, that we have the option to hurt or not hurt a fellow human being?
And yet, some pain we may not be able to stop, even if we want to.
Yesterday, as I returned home from buying groceries, I spotted an old acquaintance who has given up on life. He is self employed and has means to seek help but has chosen not to do so. I called out to him and he stopped. We talked. ‘Have you sought help?’ I asked. ‘No. I don’t care.’
A middle aged man, he’s felt defeated for years. “There is help,’ I insisted as I’ve done before. ‘Thank you but I don’t care,’ he replied. ‘I don’t have any friends. My relatives live far away.’
‘There is zoom,’ I answered. ‘It won’t work,’ he returned.
As he got ready to get into his car he said, ‘The other day, I think I almost had a heart attack.’ ‘There is help,’ I said again.
‘I don’t care.’ And he got in and drove away, a prisoner of his suffering.
I felt impotent as I walked back to my car, aware that I may not see him again.
But some pain can be stopped.
I am sure that on a day like today, theatres were open in Moscow, with actors playing dramas and comedies that spoke of the intricacies of the human condition.
And we can envision a conversation between two people exiting the theatre. ‘Did you enjoy the play, Igor?’ She asks her husband. ‘Delightful. How the actor captured the nuance in the emotions. Marvelous.’
Just as their political leader keeps ordering more and more missiles be fired to kill more and more Ukrainians.
We humans have a great ability to live with contradictions.
I’ve been watching a drama on Netflix called ‘The Last Kingdom,’ set in the British Iles many centuries ago, before England was England. In the story, a Saxon king relies heavily on a valiant and skilled warrior to preserve his dominion. The Saxon king is a devout believer in God. The valiant warrior is pagan. For all that the Saxon king owes the pagan warrior, he is most intolerant of his being pagan and he will not embrace him as he is. Will not accept his difference.
I have not reached the end of the series, but it seems the king will not accept the warrior as he is even if it means putting the existence of his dominion at risk.
We humans have a great ability to live with contradictions.
Attempting to resolve them builds bridges between us. Not doing so dooms us.
We’ve been at it for centuries.
Sometimes we give up and just slaughter, burn or rip each other apart.
But there is still hope. In each one of us.
Giving thanks to another human being is a step forward.
Forgiving ourselves and others, yet another.

Biden Dreams

He had a hectic day dealing with both national and foreign affairs but as he was usually able to do, when it was time to go to sleep, he could do so without difficulty.
It was the rare occasion when he could not.
Then it came to him. The dream.
He had entered a room where there were a few empty tables. It looked like a restaurant where customers had already left. But at one table near the end of the room, there was this lone man seated with his back to him.
Something about the shape of the man’s head and the contours of his upper body were strangely familiar. Biden was sure he knew the person.
He advanced toward him, determined to find out who the man was.
As he neared the table the man turned around and looked up at him.
It was Bobby Kennedy.
Biden gasped.
Kennedy rose and the two men embraced.
‘Have a seat,’ said Kennedy.
Biden sat down next to him. ‘I’m delighted to see you.’
‘I am, too. You’ve done a good job,’ said Kennedy.
‘Thank you, Bobby.’
‘The pullout from Afghanistan was necessary, painful though it was.’
‘It was difficult, yes, but I had the strong sense the matter had to be resolved so I could focus ahead.’
Kennedy nodded supportively. ‘It’s been a good term.’
‘Glad you think so, too.’
‘Looking back,’ continues Kennedy, ‘maybe too much money was spent on assistance during the pandemic… which contributed to this inflation you’re having to deal with… but hindsight is easy.’
‘I think it was the right thing to do, Bobby. We’ll get through it.’
Biden puts a hand on Kennedy’s shoulder.
‘It’s good to see you, man. You’ve aged but you look good’.
‘You do, too,’ replies Kennedy.
The two men pause as they look at each other.
‘You didn’t come just to say hello, did you?’ says Biden.
‘You’re right,’ returns Kennedy.
‘Do you think I should run again?’
‘No.’
Biden lowers his head.
‘Joe, you have done a terrific job… creating a united front to defend against Putin… injecting vigor into combating climate change… stepping up for the working class… bolstering our investment in tech industries… squaring with China… and in the next two years you’ll do so much more that you will leave a clear mark in the history of our nation. A mark of excellence, Joe. Without a doubt.’
‘Thank you, Bobby.’
‘But age is age, Joe… and it is ruthless. It does not spare anyone.’
Biden nods slowly, as he looks away for a moment.
‘I wish… if I hadn’t been assassinated and gone on to win the election, to have served as well as you have.’
Filled with emotion, Biden reaches out to Kennedy’s hand and gives it a squeeze.
‘You have always been an inspiration to me.’
‘Thank you. You have united the Democratic party, Joe, that’s a strength to build on. Republicans, on the other hand, are badly divided. And Trump’s running will make it worse. It’s unbelievable that a sitting president incited an attack on the Capitol and has not denounced Putin’s invasion of Ukraine.’
‘Nor will he, it’s not in him,’ puts in Biden.
‘His flaws are glaring. The 2024 presidential election should go to a democrat… but
by then you’ll be 82. You are healthy but the perception of old age will affect the voters.’
Biden stares off.
‘I would’ve liked to serve two terms…’
‘But you were vice president for 8 years…’
Biden nods again.
‘There are a lot of good people in the party waiting to hear from you,’ continues Kennedy.
‘You think I’d be challenged in the primaries if I decide to run again?’ says Biden.
‘I believe you would be challenged… adding another stress on you, on top of everything you now have to handle. Instead, if you announce that you won’t be running, that will give other people plenty of time to step up and start to organize. It takes time.’
They look at each other.
Biden smiles. ‘I wouldn’t know what to do with myself…’
Kennedy smiles, too. ‘There will be plenty of things for you to do. And much appreciation for your wisdom’
Now Biden wakes up.
He looks around. The dream was so vivid that it brings tears to his eyes. He always admired Bobby Kennedy.
Through the window he sees that it’s still dark outside.
Jill is next to him, sleeping comfortably.
Biden swings his legs to sit at the edge of the bed. He rubs his face and looks straight ahead.
‘One term… but a damn good term.’

On China. We Have Our Differences

Take the Covid 19 pandemic. We know it started in Wuhan, China, at the end of 2019, but their leadership chose not to quickly contact the World Health Organization (WHO). Instead they suppressed reports by their own doctors, the first one reporting dying from the disease.
Time was critical but wasted because of China’s secrecy. If there had been openness from the start, a better organized response by all nations would have been possible. It would have led to vastly fewer deaths.
China has also rejected importing western vaccines based on MRNA technology and considered of better quality than the ones they’ve produced.
Their pride gets in the way of their own good.
Their insistence on self reliance has had significant economic consequences as well.
Their policy of strict quarantines in the management of Covid 19 has affected mobility and negatively impacted commerce, leading investors to begin to pull out of the country.
And yet the People’s Republic of China has set the pursuit of self reliance as their national goal. In other words, the Chinese believe they won’t need anyone.
Or are they just very angry at everyone?
‘Why are we not number one yet?’
‘Why did Trump put tariffs on our products?’
Well, because your cheaper products were contributing to unemployment in the US and America had not learned to deal effectively with the problem. Time was needed in the adjustment to globalization.
‘Why aren’t you (the West) not letting Huawei, our state supported electronics company, upgrade your communications infrastructure?’
Because we don’t trust that you won’t use those systems to spy on us.
You already have a history of forced technology transfers from western companies doing business in your land and a history of extensive cyberwarfare to steal secrets from us.
So why should we think it will be any different with Huawei?
You have a long history of censorship of your people, severely restricting freedom of speech and closely monitoring their activities.
Your communist party obviously doesn’t like having any competition.
We, on the other hand, believe competition is central to our wellbeing.
So, no, you can’t have Taiwan. No, because they are a free people and it’s taking them a lot of work to get there. They deserve what they’ve worked for. They don’t deserve falling under the regimentation of your party.
And yet, the West is impressed with all that China has accomplished. You keep building ships and trains and electric cars and sent a satellite to look at the dark side of the moon.
Very good.
But your people are not free.
That’s a huge difference for us.
You’re a strong supporter of Putin and his war against Ukrainians. That’s a lot of killing that Putin has done. And you support the tyrants in Myanmar, also. In other words, where there is a dictator oppressing people, you’re right there to offer assistance.
As things stand, then, you have a long way to becoming number one.
Mind you, because you are a smart people you may surprise us all. Time will tell.
We in the West have a lot of problems, too. Difficulty in communication being one of them. So we need to work hard also.
Right now we’re going through a specially difficult phase. While we talk a lot we haven’t been doing enough listening.
One of our presidents tried to overturn the results of a free election and now he’s announced he will run again. Unbelievable.
To our credit, however, America did not choose him in 2020.
In China, your citizens can’t say, ‘we’ve had ten years of Xi Jinping, we need to look at someone else’. You can’t do that. The party makes sure the Chinese people keep their mouths shut.
In China, they don’t even get the full story of the forced labor camps for the Uyghurs in Xinjiang province. Or the brutal repression of the Hong Kong dissenters. And I’m sure they’re not getting the full picture of all the atrocities Putin is committing in Ukraine.
Why, then, should you be number one in the world?
But we’ll keep listening.
I promise, we’ll listen to all your complaints about our mistakes and your belief that we’re in the midst of inevitable decadence.
But we differ here, too. We’re of the view that national growth requires a lot of effort and yet the outcome is hard to predict. Sometimes things move positively, sometimes negatively. But so long as the trend is upward we’re okay. A bit like the stock market. We just have to keep betting on our people.
Also, many of us believe that no matter our present differences, we should not keep your students from coming to America’s schools, should they want to, even if they go back and decide to join the communist party.
Why? Because it just could be, that something about freedom will stay with them, and who knows, that might end up helping China mature and the world become a better place.
So let’s keep talking. Talk is good. Listening, is even better.
In the end, people everywhere, want to be free.
Not ruled by a repressive regime.
The winds of freedom from Ukraine have reached Iran.
That’s not too far from where you are.

Are We More Creative When We’re Free?

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

We are because we have more chances to explore.
Openness brings us to new possibilities. To new interactions.
And we become more apt to dare. To defy existing notions. To invent.
Creativity calls for risk taking.
Freedom opens the door to taking such risks.
Every person is endowed with a variety of potentials.
Freedom is an invitation to develop them.
Yet not every person chooses that path.
Many succumb to fear, freedom’s mortal enemy.
If there is a god, then freedom and creativity bring us close to him or her.
Every human being has to fight the darkness that comes with fear.
The darkness that whispers to us, ‘don’t question, accept, be quiet, don’t follow your intuitions.’
Of course, sometimes fear makes sense and saves our lives. But we have to tell the difference.
We don’t have to be loud to dare but we have to take risks and small steps count, too.
A small step today. Perhaps a larger one tomorrow.
But take steps we must, for otherwise are lives have no chance of attaining meaning.
The meaning of our existences blossoms from our taking risks.
Dare in your chosen fields. Dare in the sciences, in the arts, in your jobs, in your relationships, but dare to create!
Dare politically, too. Political protests are acts of creation.
Political systems that restrict us demean us. They rip from our souls our chance to enhance our personal meaning.
Leaders that tell us what to think do violence to our essence.
We are born to be free and yet in our world today – now 8 billion of us – a large portion live in bondage.
In bondage to people who think they are better than the rest.
In Iran, the governing mullahs think they have God’s ear, and the rest of the population better follow what they say.
In Russia today, a poll reports that 79% of the population approves of Putin.
That’s 79% of Russians who have chosen not to dare.
In China, Xi Jinping tells the rest of the Chinese that his ‘sublime’ thought is the essence of their lives. ‘Just follow me. I’ve done the thinking for you.’
There’s something very sad about going through life and not having dared.
When our time comes to die, it will be easier if we’ve dared. Easier to smile.
Others will remember us well. Perhaps, even find inspiration in the lives we lived.
So dear Iranians, courageous protesters, thank you for your daring.
And dear Russians, dare to replace the man who calls himself your leader.
And dear Chinese, dare to challenge Xi Jinping.
Small steps count. They, too, are acts of creation.
Fellow Americans, dare to keep and improve our democracy.
And thank you, Ukrainians, for the inspiration you have become to the world.
Winds of freedom are blowing from your efforts.

Will Trump Become the Republican Candidate for President in 2024?

Based on the results from the midterm elections, the answer is no.
As of this writing Republicans will end with only a slim advantage in the House and they’ve lost the Senate.
Their relative poor showing was a referendum on Trump
Raphael Warnock (D) will beat Herschel Walker (R) in the remaining undecided Senate seat in Georgia, giving Democrats the full advantage of 51 to 49.
Trump has managed to divide his party.
Yesterday he declared himself a candidate for the presidency but he will lose in the primaries.
His supporters were mesmerized by his charm but missed the substance. And the substance is that Trump is not a believer in the democratic process.
The assault on the capitol on Jan 6th 2021 wouldn’t have happened without his incitement.
The fact that, in spite of it, he managed to keep so many followers, tell us that there’s a sizeable section in this country for which democracy is just a word.
The good news is that there are many Republicans who are not fooled and were never fooled.
They showed up at the polls in the midterms and rejected Trump’s followers.
They showed up at the polls and rejected the notion that the 2020 election was stolen from him.
The best hope for the Republican party in 2024 is that Trump doesn’t win the primary.
So far, DeSantis from Florida is attracting attention as a rival.
But there is ample time for other contenders to rise.
When the lineup of Republican party candidates shows up for the primary debates, there will be plenty ammunition for them to take Trump down. And his followers will see how much better another candidate will represent them.
The division in the Republican party works in Democrats’ favor.
But Democrats will do well to select a candidate whose appeal extends to disaffected Republicans.
The time is now for Democratic candidates to start grooming their teams.
And so the matter of whether Biden will run again becomes critical.
I am a strong supporter of him but now believe that he should not run for reelection.
In just 4 days, on November 20th, Biden will be 80 years old. In 2024 he will be 82.
Age matters on a job as hectic as the president’s.
Two more years in the White House will help Biden consolidate some of his policies and we may also see Ukraine win the war against Russia.
Biden should be very proud of what he’s done.
He has said he will decide early next year if he’ll stand for reelection.
I think he will choose not to. And so open the door for Democratic candidates to flesh out their campaigns.
Kamala Harris will definitely be among the contenders but so will be Gavin Newsom from California.
They need ample time to prepare.
My projection is that Newsom will become the Democratic candidate for president in 2024.
And so help write Donald Trump’s political epitaph.
We earn our freedom every day.

Germany and China

China’s ascendancy has come with a rising ambition to put their stamp on world affairs.
But since their system of governance remains autocratic and repressive, the West has thought it prudent to begin to pull back investing in their land.
The hope had always been that political change in China – toward a more open system – would come through trade.
Instead, the Chinese Communist party keeps tightening its hold on their population.
Many western companies have now begun to move their Chinese operations to other nations, notably Vietnam and India.
Germany, on the other hand, is choosing to go in the other direction, increasing their investments in China.
Is this wise?
Is it naïve on the part of Germany’s business leaders to expect that China’s communist party will treat their increased investments any differently than those of other nations as they pursue their policy of favoring their own SOEs – state owned enterprises?
I think it is.
The communist party will not now change for German automakers and chemical plants.
Instead the Chinese leadership will learn how to use their ties with Germany to find their way into the rest of Europe and undermine the western alliance.
The German business sector knows of this risk and yet they persist. Has the lure of profits clouded their judgment?
I think so.
The cohesiveness the West has found in support of Ukraine’s defense needs much care to keep it alive.
Engaging with Chinese company Huawei for the installation of 5G systems to upgrade communications infrastructure was deemed a poor choice by America, since it would open the way for information gathering on western operations by Chinese authorities.
But while most of the West has agreed to bar Huawei from bidding on the 5G upgrade, Germany has chosen to believe there is no risk and will not do so.
France, by contrast, is barring Huawei.
Judging by the close economic ties Germany had developed with Putin over the years, it seems their successive governments have had trouble with reality.
Denying that China is keen on using the West to their own ends is embracing denial.
German business leaders think they will be spared but they will not.
Of course, in the meantime, money will be made by both sides.
By increasing their investments in China, Germany will be contributing to that nation’s ambition of world domination.
German business leaders, with the complicity of prime minister Olaf Scholz, are denying reality.
They have a history of doing so.
Meanwhile, gentlemen, Ukraine could use more help.
Winds of freedom are blowing from Ukraine.
Not from China.

Do Not Negotiate with Putin

Photo by Kostiantyn Stupak on Pexels.com

With the start of winter and Russia’s retreat from Kherson – a city northwest of Crimea – a top American general has talked about negotiating with the Russian despot. There may be others similarly minded.
But so long as there is the exceptional vigor that Ukrainians possess, the West should back them up fully and so continue to push Putin to behind his borders.
Ukrainians are writing their history in blood for the whole world to see. As they do they clamor for continued support.
Putin is counting on the solidarity of the West fracturing but that is not happening.
I am sure he is profoundly disappointed that democrats in America have retained control of the Senate in the recent elections, and that even if Republicans gain control of the House, the margin of difference will be very small.
Putin was banking on Trump to lend him a hand with his grandiose ambitions. And he still kicks himself for not having invaded Ukraine while Trump was president. Back then, he could have placed a call to Trump a week before and said, ‘I’m thinking of taking over Ukraine, just to feel more comfortable about NATO’s encroachment, and give Russians something to cheer about. What do you think?’ And Trump would have answered, ‘Do it quickly, overnight if possible. We go to bed the night before with Ukraine being independent, we wake up with you announcing it is now part of Russia. So do it fast. How’s the family?’
Meanwhile, solidarity in the West keeps building.
At the start of the war Macron in France talked about the ‘Finlandization’ of Ukraine. During the Cold War, the term referred to the Soviet Union ‘respecting’ the territorial integrity of Finland but retaining influence in that nation’s political affairs.
That didn’t fly so Macron then switched to speaking about not humiliating Putin. Never mind the atrocities the Russian was committing and still is. But when that didn’t click, either, Macron finally got it and took a strong position against Putin, asking the French to think of their support for Ukraine’s resistance as a sacrifice for the sake of freedom.
Macron’s evolution may reflect the change in other political leaders in the West.
In Germany, Olaf Scholz is still handcuffed by his timidity but appears to be evolving.
A weakened Russia allows for the resurgence of protest movement in Belarus, in Kazakhstan, Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan, Kyrgyzstan, Tajikistan and the hope that they’ll be installing democratic regimes instead.
And the new power alignments may well lead to better fending off China’s ambitions of world domination.
None of these possibilities would have arisen if not for the enormous courage of the Ukrainian people.
Even Iran is feeling its effect, with their women led protests shaking the foundations of that corrupt theocracy, which is now selling drones to Russia so they can kill more Ukrainians.
Ukraine’s heroic effort shows they are determined to not submit to Russia.
They deserve our full support.
Ukraine and the West can win this war.
We should not hesitate to make whatever sacrifices are needed.
The winds of freedom are blowing.
They are blowing from Ukraine.

Putin and The Soldier

Photo by u0414u043cu0438u0442u0440u0438u0439 u0422u0440u0435u043fu043eu043bu044cu0441u043au0438u0439 on Pexels.com

Andrei G., 22, a soldier who took part in the invasion of Ukraine on February 24th, 2022, was selected to meet with Vladimir Putin in the Kremlin.
Andrei had distinguished himself on the battlefield where he showed courage and skill.
He served 6 consecutive months without a break until a battlefield explosion severely injured his right arm tearing it off at the shoulder. The remainder was amputated.
He was awarded a medal of honor for his service to Russia which he is wearing pinned to his jacket on the right.
He and Putin sit across each other in the room. Two military aides to Putin stand by.
Through the window we see snow falling.
It is mid morning in Moscow.

Putin – If there were more like you, we would have already conquered Ukraine.
Andrei (left hand resting on his thigh) – There are more like me. Many more. On our side and their side. But they are fighting for their land. We are not.
Putin – Ukraine is our land. Fascists in their government have manipulated public sentiment against us. Those Fascists are being paid by the West, which wants to extend their control over our people. But just like we defeated Hitler, we will defeat them.
Andrei – Why do they want to extend their control over us?
Putin – To take over our vast national resources and to encircle China.

Andrei looks down at his hand as he pauses.

Andrei – The Ukrainians I have fought don’t look like they are being manipulated by anyone.
I have served because I answered the call to duty. In combat I killed 16 men. I am not proud of it.

The two military aides look at each other.

Putin – You are probably suffering from combat fatigue. It will affect your judgment, even make you depressed. But you will recover, I am sure of that. I will have our military psychologists work with you to restore your health and judgment.

Andrei shakes his head slowly as he looks at Putin.

Andrei – How do you recover from killing 16 brave men?
Putin – Combat fatigue is pernicious, it affects your mood also. You need time to heal. We have specially designed settings to treat the condition. I will send you to one.
Andrei – I don’t think I have combat fatigue. If I did have it, I’m over it. I got over it while recovering from the surgery to remove what was left of my right arm.
Putin – Combat fatigue will make you say things you will regret later. For instance, because of your courage, once you get treatment, you could have a good job in the army as a motivational speaker, speaking to the troops to help them fight better. It comes with good pay and chances for advancement. With only one arm, your possibilities for work are diminished.
Andrei – I may have only one arm but I am an intelligent man. I would like to explore my options. But thank you.
Putin – Of course.
Andrei – I have other concerns… which I’d like to share.
Putin – Go ahead.

Andrei (sensing that the moment is precious) – This is your war, Mr President, not Russia’s war. If I had been using my brain I would have defected, like so many have done since your expanded order for recruitment…

Putin’s eyes narrow as the two aides share a look of concern between them.

Andrei – … but because I didn’t think clearly, I became your accomplice and then killed 16 men. Brave men, all of them, fighting for something that mattered, not for the vanity of one person.

Flushed with anger, Putin’s expression turns somber. He looks directly at Andrei.

Andrei – In battle, in the fury and danger of every moment, I developed a conscience… and having done so it became harder to kill Ukrainians… or send others to kill them in your name.

Putin thinks of ending the interview and glances at the aides standing by. They are ready to step in.

Andrei then reaches for the medal of valor pinned on his right chest and awarded by Putin himself, takes it in his hand and extends it to Putin.

Putin (exploding, shouting) – Fool! Fool! To show my gratitude I have offered to give you something but you sit there and tell me I’m a liar. Fool! You have no understanding of what it means to lead a nation, to not let it be pushed aside by the West and China.
Russia will not be humiliated!
Andrei – You mean you will not be humiliated…
Putin – Silence! How dare you.
Andrei (defiantly) – Why should we pay for your dreams of power?
Putin – I said silence!

And with a sudden swing of his arm he swats the medal off Andrei’s hand, the medal tumbling to the floor and bouncing off before coming to rest near a wall.

The two aides quickly step front and placing themselves on both sides of Andrei, pull him back by his shoulders.

Aide – We should remove this man, Mr President.
Putin (controlling himself) – Wait.
(to Andrei, calmly) I should send you to prison for your disrespect… but I won’t. Instead, you will be discharged from the Army.

Andrei shrugs with an air of insouciance.

Putin – … but you shall not speak of your ideas to anyone… understood?

Andrei stares back.

Putin signals for the aides to remove Andrei.
They pick him up by his shoulders, escort him out, wait a few moments for a vehicle, sit in the back seat flanking him and drive off.
Moments later, near a corner in central Moscow, the car stops, one aide gets out and Andrei exits after him.
Not a word is exchanged between them.
Andrei walks off and disappears into the crowd of pedestrians.
The time is 11 am.
The snow is still falling.

He hasn’t been heard of since.
His family put in a complaint with the authorities.
Some say he crossed the border with Estonia and then joined Ukrainians in their fight.
Some say he emigrated to America. Others say he was seen in London.
No one is certain.
But wherever he is, his proud and defiant spirit lives on.

Miles Davis. What he Teaches

Saw a wonderful documentary on Miles Davis, the star African American artist, on Netflix.
The blend of archival footage with interviews of relevant people in his life includes clips of the musician himself describing what he was going through at the time.
As a child his parents wanted him to learn to play an instrument. Mother suggested the violin, father insisted on the trumpet. And that was the start of a long creative period that helped define an era in jazz music. The birth of the cool, some called it.
His talent showed early and kept growing.
Right after high school he left East St Louis where he had grown up and travelled to New York to play with stars like Charlie Parker and Dizzy Gillespie in clubs along a strip on 52nd street.
He went to Europe and captivated audiences with his sound. He loved Paris. But he always returned to New York.
Music was everything to him, he said. ‘I woke up with it and went to bed with it’.
That’s what dominated his life, what guided him and pushed him relentlessly to do the best he could. And the audiences loved him.
Then drugs started showing up.
When he surrendered to them, he would go into dark periods where he turned paranoid and abusive with the women he loved. They put up with it for a while but then left.
The talent, though, never left him.
The dark periods sometimes lasted for months, sometimes for years. But he kept coming back until the end. He died of a stroke at a hospital in Santa Monica, CA. in 1991 at age 65, in the company of a professional painter with whom he had begun to collaborate. Yes, he did that, too.
Seeing the film I felt the power of his talent, the relentless search for innovative sounds. And I wondered, how come a man with such gifts surrenders to a drug?
Why is the acclaim, the widespread celebration of his abilities, not protective in itself?
Perhaps, I offer, the artist had not cultivated his self knowledge.
And just what does that mean?
It means acquiring the ability to self govern, the ability to put up with the pain of our limitations as human beings. We all have them, regardless of how enormous our talents may be.
Emotional pain visits us all. It does not spare anyone. But learn to square with it, learn to look it in the face, and we will acknowledge our inevitable limitations as individuals.
Processing that pain is crucial for our emotional growth so that slowly, over time, we can say, ‘I’m learning to know who I am. To know where I am strong and where I am vulnerable.’
We thoroughly enjoy our natural highs. The feeling of elation that comes from succeeding at a task or from being with friends. The profound satisfaction to be found with a lover.
Drugs attempt to bypass the work that goes into achieving and enjoying such natural highs.
Talent alone will not give us the protection we need against the pain of living.
But sharing the pain will.
I have no idea of the depth of pain Miles Davis felt throughout his life, but to isolate and invite drugs to our solo parties, is to ask death to join in.
To learn to self govern we must share our pain first. Share our pain second. Share our pain often. And we’ll be ready to put up with it when there’s no one around to share it with.