As Election Day Approaches

There is an oppressiveness that hangs in the air in our nation today. The oppressiveness of having in the White House a man with no interest in building bridges to unite us.

He is a president in name but not a leader.

He is a man who has failed repeatedly to stand up against racial injustice.

He is a man who has done profound harm to the nation by not siding with science in our struggles against the pandemic.

The notion of freedom that is so dear to us, is perverted by a man who doesn’t have the basic decency to acknowledge his limitations.

This is a man who could not stand up to Vladimir Putin on July 16th 2018 when, after meeting with the Russian tyrant, failed to confront him and say to his face that our intelligence agencies had solid evidence of Russia’s interference in our 2016 presidential election. Our president said, instead, that while he believed our intelligence agencies, he also believed Putin’s denial of involvement.

Our president is the man who could not confront the Saudis when ample evidence was offered by Turkey (and confirmed by our agencies) that Jamal Khashoggi, a journalist with the Washington Post who was critical of the Saudi regime, had been brutally murdered and hacked in the Saudi embassy in Ankara.

Our president is the man who could not step up and speak loudly against police brutality in the wake of the murder of George Floyd in Minneapolis earlier this year. The video showing the officer pressing his knee against Mr Floyd’s neck for over 8 minutes as he lay handcuffed on the ground, was not enough to move the president to be outraged with the rest of us and grieve the loss of a fellow American.

Instead, when protests followed, he summoned security forces to clear the area in front of a church near the White House so he could pose for the cameras while holding a bible.

Never mind attempting to reach within himself to find the decency to stand up for the downtrodden.

Our president stands as a symbol of shallowness, of contempt for our basic liberties, contempt for the sacrifice our soldiers have made in defense of our land, as when he was quoted making derogatory statements of men and women fallen in battle.

And yet, some people are still willing to vote for him.

The 1930s and 40s saw the rise of the extreme Right in the world (Germany, Italy, Japan). In Germany and Italy it took the form of a clown posing as a leader and a population allowing itself to believe they were better than the rest of humanity. The misery, the atrocities perpetrated as a result stand as a record of our propensity to deny what is in front of our eyes.

But it keeps happening.

There was a moment, years ago, when I remember thinking that I had already watched enough movies about the Holocaust. I was wrong. We need to keep making them, again and again, while adding works about the new cruelties we keep inflicting and witnessing; the genocide in Cambodia under Pol Pot, the massacres in Rwanda, the plight of the Rohingya in Myanmar, the forced confinement of Uighurs in China, the ongoing mistreatment of minorities throughout the world.

And yet, the other day I saw a frontpage article in the Wall Street Journal about a wealthy farmer in one of our northern states. He argued in support of the president, and that doing so would ensure that taxes and regulations would stay down. ‘We have to take the good with the bad.’ To the gentleman, his economic concerns were enough to override everything else. That is the same restricted mentality that leads to the rise of extremism everywhere.

Closer to home, yesterday I made a call to a friend and casually asked, ‘you voted yet?’, and the friend replied, ‘I don’t vote.’ I was dumbfounded. ‘I don’t like either candidate,’ the friend continued.

‘But wait,’ I pleaded, ‘the preservation of our liberties requires that we exercise choice, you may not like either of the candidates but surely there are advantages to choosing one over the other.’ ‘Don’t insist, I’m not voting,’ came the reply. I said no more. But today, I left a text urging the person to please reconsider.

I remember reading once that nations deserved their leaders. Without bothering to properly reflect on the meaning of the sentence, I repeated it to an old Cuban émigré who had served several years in prison under Castro. He politely disagreed. ‘We didn’t deserve Castro,’ he said, his expression revealing the pain he’d endured in the struggle for liberty in his land.

Do we deserve our current president? No. But let us not prolong the oppressiveness under which we now live, or we might forget what the sweet scent of liberty feels like.

One last thought. My heartfelt thanks to all the campaign volunteers who keep reaching out to persuade the undecided, the men and women who keep making call after call to motivate the apathetic and disinterested, our fellow citizens who seem to have no clue as to what it takes to preserve our freedoms.

Oscar Valdes     oscarvaldes.net     oscarvaldes@widehumr

Paris is Where We Find It

There is the beautiful city, which if you can, please do visit, at least once. It is charming indeed.

But Paris is everywhere. It is in your neighborhood and maybe just around the block.

It could be at your local coffee shop, at a chance encounter during a stroll, at work or while standing in line at the market.

Paris is the frame of mind that lets you be open to all of it, the frame of mind that lets you get excited by the expression of the other, by the touch of their hand or the glow in their eyes.

You don’t ever have to go to Paris to have been in Paris.

You could have it stamped in your passport that you visited the city and strolled through its beautiful boulevards, and all of it would make for a pleasant memory.

But Paris is an attitude. It is an openness to welcoming the other into your life.

We don’t know how long the experience will last and how satisfying will it be, but the openness to what is possible will make the two who come together richer in their hearts and in their minds.

To have felt deeply will add to our range as human beings.

Standing on the Eiffel Tower and letting your eye roam over the City of Light will be memorable but it will not compete with having allowed yourself to mesh with another human being.

Nothing can replace that feeling.

Money cannot buy it (although it can corrupt it). Achievement cannot either. Earning a much desired prize won’t get you there. And it does not come from devotion to a god or a cause, however lofty and meaningful that might be.

There are substitutes, of course, as in the satisfaction that pets give to their owners.

But the uniqueness of the coming together of two human beings attracted to each other has no parallel. Nothing ignites as this does, nothing has the capacity to probe us to our depths and stir us to our heights. Nothing has the capacity to heal the mind and the soul. Nothing has the power to pull us back from the edge of despair – although it can take us there too when things go awry.

All that we’ve accomplished as a species has, in one way or another, been motivated by our desire to be acknowledged or admired, with the underlying expectation of a merging with the other.  

Solitude has its virtues but emptiness does not suit us.

But give us a memory that we cherish, a longing that stirs, hope that our striving will be rewarded, and we’re set in motion.

Paris celebrates that desire and so it lives everywhere.

Paris is where we find it, where we turn on the light.

If we’re not doing so we have to ask ourselves why, for the longer the wait, the poorer our lives.

Oscar Valdes   oscarvaldes.net    oscarvaldes@widehumr

Political Donations and the Fragility of Democracy

We keep being asked to continue to pitch in, so more information is sent to voters.

But haven’t most people made up their minds by now?

Four years of Trump is not enough to persuade the citizen?

Apparently not, judging by the incessant requests. And so, it appears, that the fate of the nation comes to rest on a group of people who don’t seem to have strong views one way or the other and who can be persuaded by a postcard or advertisement.

Downright scary.

It is a good argument to invest more in education, to invest in helping people think.

A neutral subject like Thinking 101 could be made part of the curriculum, starting in 4th grade and continuing through the end of high school.

It ought to go hand in hand with Psychology 101, Learning to Recognize Your Emotions, so you’re not a slave to them but in control of them.

The classes could be just interactive lectures with no homework attached. A simple exchange of views with a mature adult with an interest in awakening young minds.

I, myself, would have got a lot of out of such courses.

The courses could use stories to illustrate instances of how thinking and being aware of your feelings can keep you out of trouble and move you in a direction that is right for you.

Sounds so basic. Who would be against this?

Some people are.

Some people who feel they have to capture the young mind to their way of seeing the world before the young even know who they are.

What a disservice to democracy.

What a disservice to humankind.

Oscar Valdes  oscarvaldes.net    on Twitter  oscar valdes@widehumr

Tips to Manage the Loss of the Presidency

Accept your limitations. You are not God, even if your supporters sometimes treat you as one.

The pain of the loss will be great at first but gradually will ease.

Talk to yourself. ‘I made mistakes, tried the best I could given what I have.’

‘I forgive myself for all my imperfections and promise to do better.’

Seek the company of your loved ones. Thank them for all their help.

Remind yourself that you are one of a very select group of people.

As soon as you learn that the vote favored your opponent, concede. This is very important. To be graceful in loss. Call the winner, wish them the best and offer your assistance. The nation will remember you fondly for it.

If you begin to think hostile thoughts, seek the advice of psychiatrists/psychologists from Walter Reed Hospital. You are human. Human beings get angry in loss.

Do not make any rash decisions. For the sake of the nation, consult and consult again before making choices.

Exercise. Go for long walks. Dance with your partner. Sing your favorite song.

You will laugh again. At yourself and at the world.

There is life after the presidency.

Watch comfort foods. They can pack the pounds very quickly.

When or if foreign leaders call to express sympathy, ask them to support the new President.

Consider an executive order establishing the office of the psychiatrist/psychologist to the President. A part time job. A few hours a week. So the incumbent can drop by to chat about whatever is on their mind. Records of such sessions to be kept confidential for 100 years.

Good luck.

Oscar Valdes    oscarvaldes.net    oscar valdes@widehumr

Try For A Graceful Exit, Mr Trump

I hope that it is becoming clearer to you that the end is near. And it isn’t Joe and Kamala that are defeating you. It is you, defeating yourself.

You took a hammer to yourself and beat up your presidency. With the whole world watching.

On the surface you were gloating in the adoration of your followers at your rallies, but you knew you were hammering down that chisel to deepen the divisions between us.

And you couldn’t stop yourself. Or chose not to.

You could have said, ‘there are so many talented people in this country, all of whom could make an important contribution to my own view, why am I thinking that it is only the side I’m comfortable with that I should be seeking counsel from?’

It was such a basic question.

Simply to ask it would have been an act of moral and intellectual courage.

Did you ever ask it? Ever?

The problems we’ve been facing have been thorny ones. Dealing with them has been deferred by earlier Presidents, but when your turn came and the going got tough, you decided to file for bankruptcy. Which is what you’re familiar with. Debits going up faster that credits?

File for bankruptcy.

You’re not comfortable dealing with people who have dissenting views.

They upset you too easily. And rather than process that dissent in the effort to find common ground, you get angry.

Processing dissent with others calls for a willingness to consider that it is you who may be wrong. That maybe it is you not having the balanced take on the given matter. Which is okay because none of us are perfect. And simply posing the question will move us along on the road to reaching the greater truth.

You can’t file for bankruptcy when dealing with national matters. There is no such option.

People who voted for you thought, ‘well, he’s been a businessman – made and lost millions – he will know how to lead us.’ As if it was all about debits and credits. All about accounting ledgers. In their despair to find solutions, your supporters settled for the easy choice.

And you became President.

But leadership in its enlightened view is not about debits and credits but about guiding human beings, stirring up their energies and directing them to work with their brothers and sisters toward common goals.

Leadership, in its enlightened view, is not about ‘I am better than you’. Rather, it is about finding the best in each other.

To do that you have to know who you are. To do that you have to have struggled to find the best in you.

You started on that road a long time ago but then stopped. But a leader for a complex nation as ours cannot stop the process of self discovery. Stopping is filing for bankruptcy.

The leading of this nation does not allow for bankruptcy filing when facing difficult problems.

Take the matter of race. You could have said to your followers, ‘folks… there’s all of us in here, White, Black, Native Americans, Indian, Asian, Hispanics and shadings in between, and like the great variety of races there’s a great variety of opinions, and during my administration there will be an open debate on everything… and I will be listening, so I can grow wiser and my judgment becomes more balanced. I ask you, please join me in this journey of self discovery.’

But you couldn’t do it. Or you refused to.

Now time has passed and history has been written.

All of us will be learning from your mistakes as we learn from ours. We have to if we want to be the better nation we’ve always wanted to be.

As you come to the end of your term, please try to find in yourself to be graceful in defeat.

Look at it this way. Being graceful in defeat is a way of being kind to yourself. As if you were saying, ‘I tried my best, now let others try their best.’

We know you like to fight. That has been clear. But you have yet to fight the greater fight, the one that will let the better you, shine through.

Good luck, Mr Trump.

Oscar Valdes    

oscarvaldes.net    oscar valdes@widehumr

You’re a Tribal Leader, Mr Trump. Give it Up!

Accept it. You don’t have the capacity to be a President to all of us.

It’s not in you.

You tried.

You can be a leader to a segment of the nation, and even then, only a temporary leader, because the really transformational leaders are able to connect with their followers so they can learn what it is that has held them back and then do something about it. Truly transformational leaders empower people.

But you can’t do that. It’s beyond you.

So let someone else do it.

You gave it a try. You have left your imprint in the nation’s history books. An imprint that we have to pay close attention to so we won’t repeat the same mistake.

You’re a gifted man in many ways, but not to be our President.

Stay with what you’re good at. Television, for instance.

You made money on ‘The Apprentice.’ Why not try a new show and call it ‘The President.’? (first proposed on blog of 10/6/20)

You would get a chance to rewrite history to suit your purposes and make a buck as you do.

You could do several episodes on your version of what led to your impeachment. And you could have Putin, Xi, Erdogan, Duterte, the Saudi prince come in to make guest appearances and tell us about their own version of history.

(Poor history, it gets beat up and twisted around every day)

Now, if you really wanted to run for office again, then you have to be willing to do some learning.

Try a run for governor somewhere. How about Texas? They may want you. They are Red enough. And the present governor may not mind becoming your second in command.

See, you took too big a leap running for President, got lucky but ended up burdening us with your poor choices.

Now that you’ve shown all your cards, whoever chooses you next will know exactly what they’re getting into.

If you go with Texas, then you’ll have Ted Cruz as one of your senators. The both of you can have breakfast together every Sunday. Pretty cool, right? And you’d have miles and miles of border where you can go and put up all kind of walls to keep people from coming in. Maybe you’ll even find a way to make money at that, too.

Since you’re a vigorous man, you could be governor until you’re tired of it.

So, to sum up, yes, you’re a leader, but a tribal one. And that’s okay. For a while. Because even a tribe gets tired of not learning something that will empower them.

One request. Please do us a favor: be mature and restrained when you’re asked to vacate the White House so Biden can move in. We will remember you more fondly.

Good luck. Wishing you the best in your next adventure.

Oscar Valdes. Oscarvaldes.net. Follow in Twitter – oscar valdes@widehumr

What Will Bring Us Together?

The divisions between us have existed all along, but they had been neglected by our leaders.

Trump saw his chance and made the most of it.

Crafty fellow that he is, he assessed the circumstances and thought to himself, ‘I can do something with that. I can stir that pot to my advantage.’ And oh, he did it so well.

One for the record books.

There has been much pain and acrimony from all that the man has put us through, but he may have done us a favor.

The favor of exposing how vulnerable we are to the devices of a demagogue. Demagogue, as in a leader who makes use of popular prejudices and false claims, to gain power (Webster’s).

Yes, he did it.

But we can learn from it.

Ideally, we should start on that process right away.

Biden has made it a chief theme of his campaign. Overcoming our divisions.

It won’t be easy but it’s a journey we should embrace.

It would require a little self reflection, an acknowledging that no one owns the truth, and that in compromise lies the key to a successful resolution of our major differences. Never mind the small ones. There will be time for those later.

Having a leader steering us through the healing process will be essential. Biden is uniquely qualified for the role of Healer in chief. He’s been preparing for the task a lifetime and is willing to invest the years he has left to guide us through the process.

We should take him up on it.

Of course, we can always ignore him, hoping for yet another demagogue to show up down the road – there’s no shortage of demagogues in waiting – but we would be prolonging our pain.

There is, however, another way to come together as a nation. It is cruder and more traumatic but it works too. That is to wait for an outside force to threaten us.

Nazi Germany and the Axis nations united us. We knew that we had better pull together or, eventually, we would end up being their vassals.

There is no prospect for another Nazi Germany today. And Russia is starting a process of renewal.

So which nation could threaten us into uniting? China.

They are rising fast and aim to be the leader of the world. Why not? A divided America only makes it easier for them.

So wouldn’t it be less painful and more productive to go the Biden way?

Settling our differences without an outside threat would be a sign of national maturity.

We can do it. We ought to.

And this is the time

Oscar Valdes is the author of Psychiatrist for A Nation and other books. Available on Amazon.

Oscarvaldes.net

The End is Near

For Trump.

And a rebirth is fast approaching for the nation.

Donald J Trump came into the job by appealing to a section of the country that had felt ignored. Once elected he should have called for unity, for the start of a dialogue that would begin to bring us together.

But he could not do it.

I know he looked into himself wondering if he had the strength to do the job.

I know he looked and looked again.

And yet, all along, the strength was hiding in a corner of his soul.

To find it he needed light.

That light was the courage to see the truth.

But he could not turn on the light.

It is sad that a nation as gifted as ours, has to go through four years of bitter dissent, four years of continuous acrimony, because our elected leader could not rise to the task of truly becoming our leader.

To do so he would have had to say,

‘I have stirred enmity in my followers to rise to victory, but now I should help them understand the root of such enmity, and I must do so even if I, myself, don’t understand it.’

A president has at his disposal all the wisdom of the nation’s scholars, and he could’ve easily called on them to help him find clarity, to assist him in learning what he did not know.

But he chose not to.

And it was a conscious choice. To choose darkness rather than light.

But you have to not be free as a person to choose darkness,

You have to not be free to not muster the courage to face the truth,

And so it is that the man wearing the mantle of leader of the Free World

Is not a free man himself.

It is too much to expect that our leaders will be wise in all things, but it isn’t too much to expect that they ask others to educate them where they are ignorant.

Let us call it intellectual honesty.

If it is not there, then they are not fit to lead.

Oscar Valdes is the author of Psychiatrist for A Nation and other titles. Available on Amazon.

Oscarvaldes.net

Trump May Need Help

There are reasons to be keenly observant of his mental condition. The President has recently made wild allegations, calling Kamala Harris a communist and spoken of indicting Joe Biden. There was also talk of bringing the troops from Afghanistan to be better able to fight China.

Is he becoming paranoid?

While he has been known to be unpredictable, the situation is now different because he is recovering from CoVid 19, a condition that affects the brain. He appears to be bouncing back, but he’s still infected and is presently taking steroids, which are known to impair mental functioning.

Trump is a vigorous man with a great deal of energy that puts him in the hypomanic category.

But he is also under tremendous pressure, both financially and politically.

The political factor is the heaviest burden.

He is behind significantly in the polls and the gap is growing.

His performance in office has been poor and yet he nurtures the fiction that he has been a great President. The very likely defeat on November 3rd would be a tremendous blow to his already battered ego. It is reasonable to believe that he is already anticipating the loss but has much trouble accepting it which increases the possibility of his striking out impulsively.

As things stand, consideration ought to be given to tapering him off the steroid, if it hasn’t been done already, while simultaneously considering the addition of an antimanic agent.

I am not sure if the staff at Walter Reed, who has competently taken care of him, has consulted with their department of Psychiatry. If not, this should be done as soon as possible.

Even if the President would be opposed to an examination, if a consensus of psychiatrists deemed it appropriate, such recommendation needs to be made public, given the enormous consequences for the nation of a poor decision on Mr Trump’s part.

Meanwhile, an independent body of experts, drawn from our prestigious medical centers, such as Stanford, the Massachusetts General Hospital and the Mayo Clinic, ought to be convened to monitor his behavior from afar and give their considered opinion when indicated.

The stakes are very high.

We must act.

Oscar Valdes

Oscarvaldes.net

Harris Beats Pence

In last night’s debate, Kamala Harris attacked early and kept it up through the 90 minute exchange. She did it elegantly, firmly and with a smile for good measure.

The most consistent feature in Pence’s performance was his long windedness, repeatedly going over his time limit, causing the very polite lady moderator to keep insisting, ‘Please Mr Vice President, please,’ which Pence kept ignoring as if entitled to it, no doubt making sure that the audience knew that he would copy Mr Trump’s style, regardless of propriety.

It reminded me of the time Pence paid a visit to the Mayo Clinic some months ago. While escorted by a group of doctors who all wore masks, he chose not to.

Something about the Trump Pence administration and science. Oil and water.

‘Biden is raising your taxes!’ said Pence last night, as if he had found the magic words to bury his rival.

Harris calmly replied, looking straight into the camera, ‘Biden is raising taxes on people earning over 400 thousand.’

Pence again, ‘Biden is raising your taxes!’

‘Biden is raising taxes on people earning over 400 thousand.’ repeated Harris, unruffled.

In response to a question about fighting systemic racism in America, Harris gives a clear answer. Yes, the Biden administration was making it a high priority.

Pence replies, ‘There’s no systemic racism in the country…’

No systemic racism? Which country are you living in Mr Pence?

Harris was steady, confident, purposeful. The democratic side may not have all the answers but they are willing to work with the opposition to find them.

That is not what the Trump Pence administration has done and is the reason they have botched their chance at making a difference.

Harris had many salient moments, one of which was when she proudly defended the Obamacare health program’s coverage of people with preexisting conditions. Trump Pence have fought the program during their entire term, while offering nothing better in its place. But whatever they came up with, people with preexisting conditions would lose out.

So Harris made her point. ‘People with preexisting conditions? That is you (the viewer) they’re coming after, yes, you,’ she said with verve.

Whatever Pence said in reply was unforgettable except for his going over his speaking limit, finally prompting the very kind moderator to say, ‘Please Mr Vice President, we have agreed to rules to be able to hold this debate,’ or something to that effect.

Surely Trump was proud of him.

And so it is, folks. Twenty six days left before election day. One hundred and four till Biden Harris are inaugurated.

We’re making it happen. You and me. And if you can, watch the debates. It’s not the same to read about it. Writers have filters of their own. Please vote. And God bless America.

Oscar Valdes

Oscarvaldes.net